Letter to myself

I'm scared.

I'm scared of a lot of things. I have chosen a life which allows me to be very creative but comes with a lot of risk attached.

.Sounds like everyone's job. Everyone takes risks but not everyone gets to be creative.

I'm scared of being alone. Not alone as in having no one around me for a time, I mean alone as in no one will love me.

.Again sounds like everyone. Some people are so afraid of alone that they suffer through bad relationships because they think the alternative is worse. Don't worry so much, you'll get another chance to suffer.

I'm scared that I am not good enough, smart enough, talented enough to be a success in my chosen feild.

.I don't know if other people worry about this but I imagine some do. I think the fact that this has occurred to you means you lack some arrogance. You are still pursuing your career so you must have some arrogance but perhaps you need more.

I'm scared that I will never be happy.

.You know this is a fleeting worry. You know that happiness is yours for the taking. External things like cookies, movies and perhaps a new purchase these do not make you happy, what they do is distract you from the unhappy or just the boredom. Being happy is a feeling that comes from something else, something intangible. You access this place in your own way and you know that. Next time you dance around the kitchen ask the question again.

I'm scared of the way my new life will move. It will not be a rota. It will not be a 5 days out of 7. It will not have a monthly payday. It will not be in the same building all the time. It will not have regular co-workers to know.

.I think this is something that you are just going to have to get used to. Your life will not have these things. Your life will have no staff uniform. Your life will have no name badge. Your life will have no dress code. Your life will have new people and new places in it. Your life will be interesting times.